Inevitable

It was inevitable.

“Autumn, why does Asher talk so funny?”

The little girl who spoke these words was not some stranger’s child. It wasn’t a kid from school or church. The little girl who spoke these words has my heart. She has since before she was born.

Cristine (a.k.a Cris) and I met many years ago when my husband and I had a small group/church ministry. We became fast friends. Both of us somewhat weirdo hippies but smart, capable, and funny as hell. Yes. This was to be a lifelong friend.

I called my friend the first of April, 2009, to tell her the big news.

“Guess what? I’m pregnant!!”

“Guess what? Me too!,” said Cris.

The next 9 months resulted in nausea followed up by (or during) ravenousness hunger. Neither of us could take looking at the word “egg”, and, on one occasion, her husband emerged from the car carrying a bag of throw up. We proceeded to take out the food bar at the restaurant where we had met. Ahhh…good times.

We delivered 4 days apart. Asher, my son, was born first. Cris brought me cookies. (I had to return that favor when she had her son.)

As our children began to grow, no words were necessary for the differences in development. Ivey began to talk and walk and sing with ease. Asher required physical, occupational, and speech therapy. The challenges began to mount for Asher as Ivey soared. It was a bittersweet script.

Fast forward to the day my friend proved to me that she was the wonderful person I thought her to be, and I was reminded of how important one little girl can be.

“Autumn, why does Asher talk so funny?”

Ivey stood before me with her inquisitive eyes. Obviously, it irritated and confused her that Asher could not speak like her.

I had no idea what to say. As I sat, mouth agape, stunned and absolutely terrified of a 4 year old, Cris says, “Ivey. Asher and his mommy have a secret language. They only teach their language to the people they love the most.”

My cue, “And Ivey…you are one of those whom we love the most, so I will help you learn our secret language.”

I vowed my eternal friendship to her that day. A fantastic mommy is raising a gifted young woman to be kind, loving, and unafraid to have a big heart.

Thank you, Cris, for loving my son. As I always say: The best way to show me your love is to love my son. Plus, you taught your child to love my son. Truly, the most precious gift I could ever receive.

Thank you, Ivey, for being honest and just plain wonderful. I remember the world before you were born. It was boring and absolutely no fun. Then, this little sparkly girl who can do anything blasted her way in and changed everything. You and Asher made your Mommy and me smile bigger and brighter than ever.

Yes. It was inevitable, but with a dash of love, a giant amount of wisdom, and a sprinkle of sheer goodness, I was shown something beautiful: acceptance.  This was not just your everyday, ordinary acceptance.  It was not the kind of acceptance people like to throw around to seem like they are good people.  It was real. It was true. It was beautiful.  In a world where I fight daily against the onslaught of judgmental people, that day, I was able to breathe. My son was loved exactly as he was.  No changes necessary.

Give the gift of acceptance to someone today.  You may be the only person who will.  It might just change their life.  It may just change yours.